I believe that there are a small group of women who hate men just for being men. I believe that the textbook definition of the word misandry fits that description. I believe there are bad things that happen to men. I believe those issues should be addressed. I do not believe that a fringe group of women who hate men can be blamed for those issues.
Misandry was a dead word until recently. A group of men who feared the progress of feminism revived the word and used it to undercut the movement. They like having the power being a man provides and they don’t want to lose that. So they created a movement, found a bunch of legitimate issues that affect men, and tried to blame women for those issues. They called this misandry. It’s like conservatives using buzzwords like “death panels” to make people fear health care. They let people assume it meant Obama wanted to kill your grandma. They let their cute little phrase infect the minds of good people and convince them of falsehoods.
People are telling me that men cannot report rape without getting laughed at. They say this is misandry. It is the fault of women who hate men. But that just doesn’t make any sense to me. When I seek a logical explanation, it seems more likely that this is because men are supposed to be strong and women are supposed to be weak. And rape has been viewed as something that happens mostly to women. So if it does happen to a man, they must be weak. How did this idea of men=strong and women=weak start? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because of misandry. It is an ancient patriarchy collapsing in on itself.
Feminism is about fighting inequality. It’s about erasing the strong/weak perception ingrained into our society. Misandry, as the term is often used today, is about trying to blame women for anything bad that happens to men.
If you want to fight to fix issues that affect men, go for it. But I would really consider distancing yourself from this term. It is used to evangelize folks into a movement that is very problematic. A group that can’t handle scrutiny of their comic books and video games, so they send death and rape threats. A group that calls women sluts and think they ask for rape if they show too much cleavage. Those are the people who coined this term, and you should want nothing to do with them or their language.
“We hunted the mammoth to feed you.” loooool
- actual quote by pathetic MRA called TheGrendler
“In most primitive societies of the past and in all hunting/gathering societies still existent today, women provide on the average 60 percent or more of the food. To do so they often range far from home, carrying their babies and children with them. Further, the assumption that there is one formula and one pattern for the sexual division of labor is erroneous. The particular work done by men and women has differed greatly in different cultures, largely depending on the ecological situation in which the people find themselves.”
- Gerda Lerner, The Creation of Patriarchy, p.22
"The problem with Seth MacFarlane’s humor, as always, is that he’s almost always punching down instead of punching up. He’s picking on people who have always been picked upon, and he thinks he’s hilarious for doing so. What’s more, he’s making a lot of money from other people who enjoy that sort of thing. But that doesn’t make him funny. It makes him one of those fratboy douchebags who seem to be everywhere in life, even into middle age, making uncomfortably insulting wisecracks that always seem to end with the protest that “I’m just joking."
Joel Mathis, Seth MacFarlane’s Racist, Sexist New Show, Dads
I already know that I’m going to get some folks telling me, “if you don’t like it, then don’t watch it”. I wasn’t planning on watching it, but that’s not the problem. The problem is that because something like this is on TV and gets decent ratings, people see it and think this is OK. These same people often go on to repeat the same or similar jokes heard from these shows and (intentionally or not) perpetuate the same racist, sexist attitudes in real life. When POC and people who gender-identify as women are (rightly) offended, we’re then told that we’re “reading too much into it”, that we need to “get over it”, or that “it’s just a joke”. But it’s not a joke. I can’t change or remove my race, so who I am is not a joke. My being is not a joke. And the fact that you can just brush this aside and think that these attitudes are OK, tells me that you’re the one with the problem.
#but not all
#men are like that
This is the only thing boys on the internet care about at the end of the day
They give no fucks about sexism, all they want is to be assured that it’s only ”a tiny fraction of men” that is the problem, that they are not part of it, and therefore they don’t have to question anything about themselves.
The only thing that hurts more than being a target of misogyny is being accused of perpetuating misogyny. Or vaguely implicated in perpetuating misogyny when women don’t write special exemptions for your stupid ass every time they write about their experiences of misogyny and/or castigate misogynists.
#men are shit
Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy, in case you hadn’t heard. How dare she remove those ticking time bombs from her chest, amiright? Like, hasn’t she learned by now that her body is public domain and we all get to vote on what she does with it? Sheesh, how selfish can ya get.
I really hate it when people say
“Men shouldn’t call women fat”
“Men shouldn’t abuse women”
“Men shouldn’t rape women”
“Men shouldn’t be sexist”
When really it should be
“Nobody should call anybody fat”
“Nobody should abuse anybody”
“Nobody should rape anybody”
“Nobody should be sexist”
Stop blaming men for everything
I understand the premise behind this argument but I will continue to blame men for a lot of fucking things because: I have never once sprinted down the street at night because a woman was walking too close to me, and I’ve never pulled out my pepper spray and gripped it in my hands as tightly as possible because a woman drove by and shouted something at me while I was walking home alone, I’ve never had a woman guilt me into having sex, I’ve never had a woman hit on me at a bar and continue to hit on me even after I told her I had a boyfriend, I’ve never had a woman endlessly try to convince me to send them nudes, I’ve never had a woman make me feel like I am only my appearance and am worthless without tits. I quit my most recent job because I was sexually harassed constantly, daily, and guess what? it was always men. yes we should all be nice to each other, but I think that maybe men have a teeny bit more work to do than women.
I’ll stop blaming men for everything when they stop being overwhelmingly responsible for everything. The vast majority of people who sexually objectify, abuse, and rape are men and the vast majority of people who are targeted for those things are women. That’s not an accident; that is the result of male-dominated power structures that have been in place for thousands of years. So when you de-gender these issues and pretend that men and women are equally responsible for them, you’re aiding men who silence women for identifying the cause of their oppression. What the fuck do you think social movements like feminism are for if not to eradicate discrimination and violence against a specific group of people by another specific group of people? You’re taking offense to the fact that women point out patterns of male aggression and misogyny to assuage hurt male feelings and you’re wasting your time. Men hate you.
"[F]or the first several years the SAT was offered, males scored higher than females on the Math section but females achieved higher scores on the Verbal section. ETS policy-makers determined that the Verbal test needed to be “balanced” more in favor of males, and added questions pertaining to politics, business and sports to the Verbal portion. Since that time, males have outscored females on both the Math and Verbal sections. Dwyer notes that no similar effort has been made to “balance” the Math section, and concludes that, “It could be done, but it has not been, and I believe that probably an unconscious form of sexism underlies this pattern. When females show the superior performance, ‘balancing’ is required; when males show the superior performance, no adjustments are necessary.” "
“Gender Bias in College Admissions Tests”, FairTest.org
And then people urge me everything is fine, of course it is, when you’re ignoring statistics that is.
(Source: fairtest.org, via home-of-amazons)
"This is what I don’t get - Women are impure because males have touched them. Who’s the dirty one here?"
Here is the thing, okay? Coming into a feminist conversation with, “Have you considered that sometimes women acquire free drinks at bars?” is like walking into graduate school during Philosophy finals and saying, “Have you considered that the color blue that I see may not be the color blue that you see?”
Imagine you are the guy who just walked into that Philosophy class and laid that shit down. Imagine the class full of students who have worked very hard and committed themselves and sacrificed to be here, students who have spent several years of their lives learning about this subject. Imagine now their feelings when you go to the head of the classroom with a smirk on your face and demand the professor give you an A for effort. Imagine now that they think you are a douchebag asshole, because they do, and because you are. You are a douchebag asshole because you are obviously so self-centered, arrogant, and completely ignorant of the world around you, that you thought you could walk into a high-level course with no background and no work and say something profoundly simplistic and totally unrelated and also everybody should congratulate you for having done this thing, so brave, so provocative.
You are not asking us a real question. You are simply illustrating, for all to see, your own ignorance. You are saying, “I have not considered the implications of the question I have just asked. I have not taken the time nor effort nor commitment to sit down and ask myself this question. Instead, I have come into your philosophy classroom/office/feminist blog and shat out my question with a smirk, because I believe that my two seconds of thought are worth more than your long-term analysis, because I believe I am worth more.”
"Okay, guy, so why do you feel like you want/need/deserve to settle down with a “pure” woman? I’m genuinely listening. “Oh, it’s because sluts are gross.” Too vague. Do better. “Well, their vaginas are real stretched out and big.” No. “Ummmmm, they probably have a bunch of diseases?” Easy fix! Setting aside the fact that plenty of women contract STIs from monogamous partners or during “safe sex,” it sounds like your real problem here is with illness, not sex. So I assume you’d be fine dating a promiscuous woman who practiced safe sex and happened to be STI-free? “No, because I want a girl who’s traditional and family-oriented.” Having sex doesn’t mean you don’t want to have a family. It just means that you want to have sex. “Yeah, but a slut is more likely to cheat on me.” Really? Then why do couples in the Bible Belt have such a high divorce rate? “The devil, I guess?” NOPE. “I just can’t stand the thought of her getting fucked by all those other guys.” So you’re about to have sex with a woman you’re attracted to, you really want to have sex with her, but all you can think about is her getting pounded by tons and tons of dicks? That sounds like an entirely different issue. “No! I just mean that I struggle with the same powerlessness and insecurity that all human beings do, so as a coping mechanism I take advantage of our culture’s patriarchal power structure and exorcize my feelings of worthlessness by perpetuating shame-based proprietary attitudes over women’s bodies. Basically I’m obsessed with controlling women’s lives because I can’t control my own.” Oh, honey. I know."
märƒmεℓℓow: DEAR WHITE ALLIES →
please read this and fucking apply!
- Allies work continuously to develop an understanding of the personal and institutional experiences of the person or people with whom they are aligning themselves. If the ally is a member of a privileged group, it is essential that she or he also strives for…
This is a really interesting read to anyone who wants to be an ally of any group. It speaks specifically to white allies and obviously other axes of oppression have other issues to deal with but it is an interesting read and a good way to think about how you are supporting the issues you are interested in.
(Source: scn.org, via sprauncy)
As a feminist, I shouldn’t have to prove that I don’t hate men. In patriarchal society, if men aren’t your main focus, then you’re a man hater. In a patriarchal society, being a man hater is worse than being a rapist.In a patriarchal society, we value everything from entertainment to political movements to women themselves (as women are often treated like commodities) on how well these things to cater to men and solely men. If you believe that feminism needs to focus more on men’s issues, you’re buying into the bullshit patriarchal idea that men’s problems are more important than women’s problems and that a social movement’s value is directly correlated to how focused it is on men.
^^^ That right there.